Organize Like a Pro: Habits - Part II

TL/DR: The reasons we can’t commit to habits aren’t usually because we lack will power, it’s because we’re not framing the shift in a way that feels meaningful or sustainable. Our motivation for actions and therefore habits stems from our perceived identity.

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In Habits: Part I, we explored the pieces of the habit loop, and here we’ll dive deeper into the psychological implications of habit formation.

Humans have this feature where we make up stories about ourselves, creating our identity. These stories dictate the decisions we make, which, in a never-ending loop, solidifies our identity. James Clear explains the following, in his book "Atomic Habits":

"The more deeply a thought or action is tied to your identity, the more difficult it is to change it. It can feel comfortable to believe what your culture believes (group identity) or to do what upholds your self-image (personal identity), even if it's wrong. The biggest barrier to positive change at any level--individual, team, society--is identity conflict. Good habits can make rational sense, but if they conflict with your identity, you will fail to put them into action."

Basically, peer pressure, whether direct or indirect, shapes the way we live our lives, because of the importance we place on our identity. This comes back to the idea that each moment of each day builds your life, rather than life being shaped from your identity. The actions you are choosing to reflect your identity may not be reflecting the one you thought or that you wanted, and rather may be coming from peer pressure or identity conflict. You might be accepting an identity that doesn’t reflect your current identity.

For instance, while you may still think of yourself as the athletic teenager you once were, parking on the couch for 3 hours of Netflix each night isn't exactly athletic. Your perception and your reality are at odds. Once you notice this misalignment, you might start going to the gym after work, before your nightly TV, because then you're living up to the identity of an "athletic person."

The stories we tell ourselves about our identity are inextricably linked with how others perceive us. While this can be problematic, for instance doing things simply to please others), it’s also a feature you can leverage as you look to make changes in your life. You can use this misalignment between what you want and what society tells you to want, as your guide. Let that dissonance serve as an indicator that what you are doing isn’t aligning with what you would like to be doing or representing. Does your habit of eating a whole bag of chips after your workout while your takeout order arrives in alignment with your view of a healthy person? Asking yourself the right questions (like the ones from Part I) can help you uncover your root motivations.

Identity also relates to the depth of change we are able to make. As James Clear outlines, there are three layers of change: the outer layer is outcomes, the inner is processes, and the innermost is identity. These layers correlate to the way you frame your goals. As Scott Adams states, "Goals are about the results you want to achieve. Systems are about the processes that lead to those results." So what does that all mean?

HOW TO SET CHANGE IN MOTION

If you want to make a change in your life, you first set a goal, but then you need to look beyond the goal itself into the systems that will get you there. For example, instead of saying, "I want to take a walk everyday" think of it as "I want to be the person who values my health enough to commit to daily outdoor exercise." You are changing the narrative of a simple goal into a part of your identity. It gives you a much deeper "why" and will help you to make the change. Often when people make New Year's Resolutions, they don't dig deep into the why, and even more often, the why ends up rooted in external expectations rather than an authentic want. No habit, good or bad, will stick if it's not true to you.

You can even take it a step further and simplify your goal into a single action. That way, you only focus on that single action, instead of trying to tackle a conceptual lifestyle change. So from "I want to take a walk everyday," you focus instead on "Put on my walking shoes daily." Once the shoes are on, you will go out to take a walk, the hurdle is committing to putting those shoes on each day. The process is putting your shoes on. Creating a habit around that process will domino effect into a shift in identity.

Now that you understand the habit loop, start to dig deeper and think about the true "why." How does this habit relate to your story about yourself, and are your actions a reflection of who you want to be? Commit to simplifying your goals into the most basic process and build your habit around that piece. If you show up everyday and at least put your shoes on, that deserves applause. Before you know it, you'll be walking everyday without thinking twice about it.