5 things I learned from 365 days of meditation

TL/DR: A daily meditation practice looks different for everyone, but that uncertainty is what’s so beautiful about it. So much to discover. For me, a daily meditation practice has fundamentally changed the way I move through the world. If you’ve been interested in a daily practice, what are you waiting for? Why not see where it takes you? Below are just five of the observations I have about my practice.

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In January 2020, my husband and I were on vacation in Bend, OR. It was snowglobe-style snowing and a very cozy getaway. While there, I resolved that I wanted to feel as chill as my vacation all the time. I resolved to begin meditating the morning after arriving back in LA. My goal: meditate for at least 5 minutes every morning. I vaguely knew the “point” of meditation wasn’t to achieve a goal, but I also knew that this time in stillness felt so good for my Energizer Bunny brain.

For me, chill means stillness and keeping my brain from going a hundred miles an hour. I remember several years ago, my husband offhandedly mentioned, “sometimes I’m just not thinking about anything!” It made me realize the level of overdrive I was living in all the time. I thought there wasn’t another option. Spoiler: there’s always another version of reality.

I went into my daily meditation practice truly not knowing what to expect, and it’s been an incredibly fruitful experience. It’s clear that my practice has permeated all aspects of my life in a positive way. 5 things I’ve learned are the following:

1. Meditation isn’t about clearing your mind, or even being chill. The process of meditation is about honing concentration and staying present. The byproduct of this practice is the chill I’m talking about.

2. When you sit down to meditate, your brain does what brains do, and it goes reeling through all of the things: your to-do list, that one embarrassing time in 7th grade, or a loop of Ludacris lyrics. The beautiful thing about meditation is that you’re meant to simply acknowledge that these thoughts arise, but not attach to them. You’re not trying to push them away, nor do you engage with them. This sense of non-attachment feels a lot like the calm I’ve been looking for, and honestly craving of late.

3. When you set a goal to create a new habit, it’s critical to pair it with an action you already do regularly. For me, I have to take my thyroid pill every morning, and then wait an hour before I can eat. This is the perfect window to meditate. Whether I have to do a few little things (unload the dishwasher, etc) before I sit is just fine, so long as I sit that day. Also, aiming for the morning means that if all hell breaks loose, I can still sit for 5 minutes before bed that night. If I tried to meditate every night, I would for sure fall asleep early some nights and miss my sit.

4. As a recovering perfectionist, it is key for me to practice grace. With my goal at a minimum of 5 minutes, it’s basically impossible for me to skip this, even on a vacation or the weekend. I typically meditate for 30-45 minutes, but I know I’ve achieved my habit goal if it’s at least 5 minutes. There’s just no reason to skip my sit. Likewise, when I sit down to meditate it’s critical that I don’t judge the sit that day. Some days my mind is loud and some days I slip into quiet quickly. One isn’t better than another. It can be easy to fall into trying to do it “right”. Grace > perfection. Also, you might say, “but having a goal to sit every day is perfectionistic!” And while that’s not incorrect, the reason I’m meditating every day isn’t because I feel obligated, it’s because I love the calm I know I can cultivate, and I want as much of that in my life as possible. For me, the intention of sitting every day is the commitment to being different than my overworker and perfectionist tendencies typically manifest.

5. When I start each day with meditation I know two things for that day: 1) I know I’ve actively worked against my overworking tendency to hop out of bed and get to work immediately. This helps me intentionally start each day with stillness. 2) It’s hard to have a bad day when you start with meditation. It’s a reminder that I’ve committed to cultivating calm and ease in my life, and it’s honestly hard to have a complete meltdown of a day when you start feeling energized, calm, and encouraged. Or, if you’re feeling irritated all day, it’s hard to stay irritated knowing you have another chance to sit the following morning.

Now that I’ve reached 365 days (on January 20th), I have no intention of stopping. I’m not motivated by the streak though, instead I am utterly committed to cultivating calm, concentration, and present moment awareness. Cancer plopped me into a state of luxurious mindfulness, and I am keen to continue to cultivate that feeling. It’s so magical knowing that what I CAN control in this world is my attention, and bringing my attention to the present moment helps me to love the life I’m living.

If you’re starting out on your meditation journey, the beauty is, you get to create your own practice. There is nothing that says you need to meditate every day, in the morning, or for a set amount of time. YOU get to set that based on what feels right to you. I only hope you enjoy the exploration as much as I have.