Meditation Retreats 101
TL/DR: I just attended my first weeklong silent meditation retreat (on Zoom) and have my second coming up at the end of this week. The more people I tell, the more I’m met with confusion, disdain, and some genuine curiosity. This post is for the confused, appalled, and disdainful, as well as anyone wondering what even goes into a retreat.
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Let me start by saying that meditation is the practice of bringing your attention back to the present moment. It’s a way to cultivate your concentration and attention. Mindfulness generally is often defined as a quality of attention in the present moment. It’s not about trying not to think about anything. Enlightenment isn’t about learning how to not think, it’s about learning how to acknowledge and allow all present experiences whether positive, neutral, or negative. Enlightenment is actually reaching the point where you stop identifying with a single self as a concept, basically to stop believing everything you think.
Given that it’s still 2020, both retreats are via Zoom. There were approx. 70 participants, and we were mostly floating heads aside from the small group sessions. In case you have no clue what the schedule for a weeklong retreat looks like, let me give you the overview. Every retreat is different, but here’s what my latest experience looked like:
In the morning we had a group session where the teacher would address a particular topic for the day and then lead us through a guided meditation. We would then try out that technique on our in during the seated meditations throughout the day. For example, if the topic was addressing difficult emotions, they would lead us through the technique RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate/Inquire, Nurture/Non-identification). We’d then use RAIN throughout the day to practice.
After the first guided meditation we would begin alternating sessions of seated meditation and walking meditation.
Seated meditation: can be done in a chair or on a cushion. It doesn’t make you a better person to use a cushion. For anyone requiring additional adjustments, you can also lie down. One teacher recommended holding your hands up like “robot arms” when lying down to avoid falling asleep.
Walking meditation: choose between 10-30 paces to walk back and forth. You mindfully pay attention your feet hitting the ground and your breath as you walk along. You don’t have to walk slowly, but I find it hard to maintain mindful concentration when I start walking faster. Plus, walking faster doesn’t make the time go faster, so there’s that.
There was a break for lunch + either a nap or a longer walk outdoors.
The afternoon would either be a continuation of half hour seated, half hour walking, or you would have an hour-long small group session with each teacher to ask questions.
Instead of walking meditation for one session a day, I chose to do mindful yoga. Paying attention to the present moment experience, rather than have any kind of fitness goal (as the western world loves to add to yoga). I consider yoga a great practice for putting intentional stress on the body and keeping my mind calm while doing so.
At the end of the day, the teachers give a dharma talk, which is really just a lecture related to principles of meditation and mindfulness. Everything tends to revolve around not grasping to the past or the future, because that’s where most of our suffering lives.
This is followed by one more hour of seated/walking meditation.
We closed the day with a guided group meditation using a heart-practice. I won’t get into the details, but think, cultivating compassion and warm-fuzzy feelings. It’s a wonderful way to end the day (and honestly a beautiful way to practice every day!).
In our down time, we are encouraged to continue practicing, and discouraged from talking, reading, listening to podcasts/music. While that sounds like punishment, it’s actually to help keep your brain quiet. The less stimulation you are exposed to, the less you have to slough off before settling in. It’s also a really interesting experience to have so little mental stimulation. Difficult to imagine for someone like me who is constantly consuming podcasts, music, and knowledge.
This schedule can only be described as rigorous and relaxing. It’s rigorous trying to slog your way through the various ways you experience resistance while sitting (restlessness, sleepiness, wanting to be anywhere else, lol), but it’s also wonderful to be so unplugged from all forms of mental stimulation.
In a lot of ways, having the experience at home adds a richness that attending at a retreat center doesn’t.
On the final day, they discuss integrating our experience into real life. Normally this would include powering on your tech devices, and generally re-entering normal life. But when you’re already home, you have to practice unplugging even when the triggers are right there. I can’t tell you how much my brain told me I wanted to check my email “just in case.” I had 132 emails, only 6 of which required a real response.
Being home means you get to continue sleeping in your own bed and eating your chosen food. As someone who follows a strict eating protocol, this alleviates any and all hassle or worry related to having to facilitate autoimmune paleo in a different kitchen with limited ingredients.
There is something wonderful about experiencing a profound sense of calm and concentration in my home office unrelated to work.
It allows you a new perspective on your current habits and which you both do and don’t benefit from. For instance, I realized how much I value my midday chats with Ryan and going out for a walk or taking a nap when sleepiness hits, rather than having to wait for the next break. (I know, I’m spoiled! It’s by design.)
So really, it’s pretty straightforward. Not unlike a conference in some ways. It’s calming to have such a regular routine to follow (at least for people like me who enjoy consistency). If you’re interested in a meditation retreat yourself, I have several lists of retreat centers and am happy to point you in the direction that might be good for you!
Earlier in 2020, I took the Power of Awareness class through Sounds True. I can’t recommend that enough for beginners. Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield focus a lot on emotional regulation and calmly accepting what is. Because of this, it’s a wonderful place to start.
Many people keep themselves busy-busy in order to ignore difficult emotions, so when they finally get still, things can come rushing to the forefront. If it’s not deep trauma that’s coming back, use this discomfort to lean into the stillness and see those emotions head-on. You can do it!
But anyway, I hope this answered some of the questions you had and sheds some light on meditation retreats. Mindfulness is a central pillar in my coaching approach because it’s nearly impossible to learn to listen to yourself if you don’t know how to truly focus and listen in. Drop me a line if you’re curious to see where mindfulness can take you!